Thankful

We interrupt this Christmas season which gets longer every year to bring you a little holiday we call Thanksgiving. So, for a few days out of this week, please, drop your shopping bags, turn off the holiday music, forget about untangling the lights, and just spend time with the people you are thankful for.
We're headed to my mom and dad's house Wednesday and I'm practically floating with happiness. I haven't seen them since Spring Break. My sister and brother are there now. I haven't seen them since last Christmas. I'm thankful to get to see them.
I'm thankful for our traditions. I love Thanksgiving. We watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that morning (one day I'm going to be there in person!). We have a late lunch of turkey and dressing and rolls. And who can't be thankful for pumpkin pie? Then, the annual craft. My mom and I have gotten to where we do some sort of craft -- usually a holiday one -- every Thanksgiving. My sister and any other female relatives usually join in if they are there. It's our own little family traditions.
I'm thankful for my husband who keeps looking at me and saying, "I'll love you anyway," when I say, "What if . . ." I'm thankful for our own home, where we can paint walls and rip up carpet and plant gardens and have room to grow. I'm thankful for a good job where I can help kids see God through my actions and attitudes. I'm thankful for our friends who care so much that they pray for us and ask if we need anything. I'm thankful for our church family, who keep us sane while we're so far away from "home."
Most of all, I'm thankful for God and his love for me. It's been a hard year to remember that. I let the problems of my life (which really aren't that big compared to problems other people have) settle around me like a blanket and I just hold on to them so tightly that it's hard for the good things to get in, too.
This week, I'm going to try and do better to remember how blessed I am. But I don't want to limit it to this week only. This needs to be something I do everyday. I hope I'm inspiring you to do the same.

A Bad Person

I guess I must be a bad person. Round Rock schools has recently removed a book from their shelves. It's the book TTYL. I actually heard the author speak at the book festival several weekends ago and she was talking about how this book was a good one to read WITH your kids to discuss the matters covered in it. Round Rock has not banned the book. They removed it from their shelves because they don't want the younger middle schoolers reading it even thought it might be okay for older ones. They aren't allowed to have shelves for certain ages for some reason. Anyway, the point of all this is to say, I now really, really want to read the book. I want to know why it's taken off the shelf and why people have a problem with it. I want to know why my child should not read this book. I felt the same way about The Golden Compass when everyone was throwing their fit about it. I haven't gotten around to reading it yet, but I probably will. I have to know why.
I have decided to let Jeremy be in charge of taking my temperature and writing it down everyday. I don't want to see it anymore because I'm tired of worrying about it. So, this morning he took it and wrote it down. So far, I haven't peeked. But it's about to kill me to know if my temp spiked yet or not. It supposedly should have spiked last week and still hadn't as of yesterday which means I'm like a week late for ovulating. Sigh. I hate my body.

Last Week

Last week was sort of an up-and-down week. I mean temperatures, emotions, everything. I feel like I have very little control over my emotions right now and poor Jeremy is getting the brunt of it. He had to live with crazy emotions all those years I was on birth control and I think we've both been enjoying the last year and a half when I could actually decide how I was going to feel and feel that way instead of being led one way or another by hormones. I guess it's not a good thing I wasn't having any hormonal stuff over the last year and a half, but I did enjoy having my emotions back in check. I go through days now when I feel like crying but can't, then get really angry and just yell at Jeremy no matter what he says, which makes me feel guilty so I'm back to feeling like crying to laughing my head off at absolutely nothing. I think we're both ready for me to be back in more control.
It doesn't help my life that I try to cram so much into it. Last week, Grandma and Grandpa left Monday, I tried to get some writing done on my nanowrimo (and am just under 21,000 instead of where I need to be), went to the play Friday night, had two Pampered Chef shows Saturday, and then had tried to plan a Ladies' Craft Day for Sunday afternoon which fell through. I feel like I haven't stopped. In the midst of all that, I did this craft (http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/special/feature/famf1103_mgi_salad/) for my K-2 kids everyday which was really cute, but not so easy as they all had to wait their turn.
I know I bring much of this on myself, but what do I do when people look at me and ask if I'm going to have a baby or WHEN I'm going to have a baby. After all, everyone else is. I think I'm doing good, getting my priorities straightened out, knowing that I'm blessed even if God doesn't give me this opportunity. And then, I'm back down on my knees begging Him to let it have happened this time. Satan definitely knows my weaknesses.

This week

Isn't it funny how when you're told you HAVE to do something and WHEN you HAVE to do it, that you don't want to do it, even though it's something you usually enjoy?

To Cassie

This post is completely about my friend, Cassie. She decided that I was too wonderful to have just a normal blog and came up with this, despite my indecisiveness! Isn't it lovely? She's so great. I love her to death and very much miss her now that she has moved to Dallas. She's talented and creative and a great mom to her little Caleb.
So, Cassie, thanks for the new look. You're fabulous!

The Holiday Craze

Grandpa helped me so much. Sometimes, it's just nice to have someone say it's really not as bad as we had been told it was and can wait for later. Of course, with Grandpa here, we went to several stores, including Walmart for various things we needed to fix ceiling fans and tail-lights. Walmart. That wonderful world of retail. Want to know what music you'll hear in there right now? Christmas music. I kid you not. Halloween is over so bring on Christmas! I want to know what happened to Thanksgiving? Not to mention Veterans day! Of course, we'll have our Veterans day sales tomorrow as the only way to celebrate anything is with a sale and no mail, obviously. Do I sound frustrated to you? This culture is turning completely to buying things non-stop and I'm sick of the materialism here. I've been seeing KMart commercials (Heaven only knows why as we have no KMart around here) for layaway for Christmas and I think, that's how we got into the economic mess we're in now. Everyone had to have more than they could afford and they had to have it now. So, bring on the credit cards, adjustable mortgages, layaway plans. Ick. I hate money. Trust me. I use it -- a lot. But I still hate it. And I hate what it does to this country.
And I hate that Walmart is already playing Christmas music. I want my turkey and pumpkin pie!

A little bit of everything. . .

It's been an absolutely crazy week. In case you don't know already, my husband is a politics freak. I love Jeremy. I can't stand politics right now. I was naive in my hopes that after the election, the talk would die down. Silly me. I'm sort of mad at both sides of it right now because even though the man I voted for didn't win, I still know God is going to take care of us through the next four years. Yes. It would have been great to have a president who would install a more conservative judge on the Supreme Court so we could have taken another step towards the illegalization of baby murder (abortion), but we'll survive for now. Obviously, God has other plans and we need to trust Him. So, let's quit fighting about it, accept it, and move on with our lives!
Yesterday was a mess. Mr. Allen, one of the Extended Care Aides, has PTSD and sometimes suffers with it. His psychiatrist has decided that he doesn't need to work EC on the days he also makes burgers for the cafeteria. So, we were without him. We were also without two of our high school aides because of a play and sickness. We had one sub. You do the math. We made it through, though. Then, I went over to be with Jeremy while he did his class sponsor thing at the spaghetti dinner the Juniors were having before the concert. The food and company was good, but I was so tired by the time it was over. We totally have not made it to any of the school concerts this year -- we're such bad teachers!
I'm back on Clomid this week and that brings extra tiredness and some dizziness, too. Doesn't that sound like fun? It makes me want to sleep all the time but I can't.
My grandparents are coming today to stay the weekend with us in our house. Yay! Ever since we bought this house, Grandpa has wanted to come check it out and help us fix a few things on it and now he's coming! The interior decorator in me really wants to paint and peel wallpaper and find the perfect curtains and replace the dingy carpet. The realist knows we need to fix the short in the light socket and do something about the rotting post in our garage. So, for now, realism wins and my Grandpa is coming to help. Hooray for grandparents!