I asked Jeremy last night as we were preparing for sleep on the night of our sixth anniversary, "Do you sometimes feel that we pray for rain but leave the umbrella at home?"
I know my faith has grown a lot over the last year. Over the last two years. Over the last three years.
Three years ago in August was when we started trying to get pregnant.
Two years ago we found out I had PCOS.
One year ago we found out the next step was fertility treatments -- and we found out Jeremy had lost the job he loved.
They always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I do feel stronger. I just wonder if my faith isn't quite strong enough. Am I acting like I believe God will give my husband a teaching job for this fall? Am I acting like I will get pregnant? I'm praying for those things all the time. So, as I pray for rain, do I take my umbrella with me like it's actually going to happen . . . or am I leaving it at home because I don't really believe God listens?
Just a thought.
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