My mom had the privilege to go back to the town I graduated high school in this week and visit with some friends while my Dad was up in that area at church camp. She stayed with a very dear family friend of ours whose family is a bit eccentric . . . and who heavily rely on her. Her oldest grandchild graduated from high school last year. She has a lot of anger although we're not really sure why. Everyone has been afraid for years that she'd end up pregnant . . . and sure enough . . .
I asked my mom if she were planning to keep the child. I know a family who would take the child as our own if she wasn't. Mom said she was planning to keep it right now, but mostly they're just praying that it is healthy. The girl isn't sure who the father is, how far along she is, and has been off and on drugs. She still smokes some marijuana and cigarettes and does who knows what else.
My heart is broken for this baby. I want one so badly and girls like her get them.
My heart is also broken for the thoughts that ran through my head after mom told me the child might have some problems due to the drug use. I almost felt like maybe I didn't want it after all, even if it did get offered. Am I a bad person? That child will need someone to love it and care for it maybe even more than any other child who hadn't gone through that.
The whole situation just breaks my heart.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Thoughts
So, here are an accumulation of thoughts that have come to me and I meant to write about over the last month, give or take a few that I might be forgetting. This is what happens when you work at a day camp for four weeks and are completely exhausted all the time. These are in no particular order.
Gardens take way too long to grow . . . especially when the rain comes all or nothing. But I do have teeny tiny green beans and a little squash growing finally. :-) I figure they'll all grow while we're gone on vacation in a week.
Evidently, there is still some naivete in me. This camp is the first time I have really worked with people besides just members of the church since the short stint of work I did my second summer of college. I'm working with several people who are living with their boyfriend/girlfriend. I get to hear about the "fun" some of them had the night before. . . like the one who turned 19 but partied like she was 21 and the one who came the next day with hangover -- a very obvious one. And the co-counselor I worked with last week hit his head on the playscape and then bragged about the fact that he didn't cuss. I thought to myself, "well, why would you?" Jeremy says I have this way of putting things that put people in their place even if I don't mean to. I'm just wondering how all these people can be like this and still claim to be "christians." Seems like their Bible must say different things than mine does.
I must admit to being proud of myself last week. I am horrible at being able to say no, but lately I have taken way too much on myself. I had asked around church to see if someone was already planning a shower for one of the girls who is expecting in August. No one knew of one being planned and somehow I ended up magically becoming one of the hostesses because I brought it up. It was planned for a weekend we're going to be gone. I was supposed to do the corsages. Another girl who wasn't around for the planning but wanted to help asked me what she could do. I told her corsages and then I told several of the other girls that I was no longer a hostess . . . I didn't have time or money. So, I sort of said no even if it was a little late. :-)
I bought some of the shoes that are supposed to tone muscles while you walk . . . the Payless kind, not the $80 or $100 kind from Reebok and Sketchers. They work. Just in case you wanted to know.
I was beginning to believe that maybe this was our summer. I kept having weird (or at least random) cravings: apple pie from McDonald's, biscuits and sausage gravy, etc. And then, Hurricane Alex came through this week. Alex is the name we've picked out for our son WHEN we have him. I don't think I am pregnant right now. . . just PMS-y. But it could still happen. Do you believe in signs?
And I found out Francine Rivers, one of my favorite authors, has a new book out. I'm on the waiting list at the library. Yay!
To end, here are a couple of quotes from my first/second grade boys over the last few weeks that should make you smile:
Gardens take way too long to grow . . . especially when the rain comes all or nothing. But I do have teeny tiny green beans and a little squash growing finally. :-) I figure they'll all grow while we're gone on vacation in a week.
Evidently, there is still some naivete in me. This camp is the first time I have really worked with people besides just members of the church since the short stint of work I did my second summer of college. I'm working with several people who are living with their boyfriend/girlfriend. I get to hear about the "fun" some of them had the night before. . . like the one who turned 19 but partied like she was 21 and the one who came the next day with hangover -- a very obvious one. And the co-counselor I worked with last week hit his head on the playscape and then bragged about the fact that he didn't cuss. I thought to myself, "well, why would you?" Jeremy says I have this way of putting things that put people in their place even if I don't mean to. I'm just wondering how all these people can be like this and still claim to be "christians." Seems like their Bible must say different things than mine does.
I must admit to being proud of myself last week. I am horrible at being able to say no, but lately I have taken way too much on myself. I had asked around church to see if someone was already planning a shower for one of the girls who is expecting in August. No one knew of one being planned and somehow I ended up magically becoming one of the hostesses because I brought it up. It was planned for a weekend we're going to be gone. I was supposed to do the corsages. Another girl who wasn't around for the planning but wanted to help asked me what she could do. I told her corsages and then I told several of the other girls that I was no longer a hostess . . . I didn't have time or money. So, I sort of said no even if it was a little late. :-)
I bought some of the shoes that are supposed to tone muscles while you walk . . . the Payless kind, not the $80 or $100 kind from Reebok and Sketchers. They work. Just in case you wanted to know.
I was beginning to believe that maybe this was our summer. I kept having weird (or at least random) cravings: apple pie from McDonald's, biscuits and sausage gravy, etc. And then, Hurricane Alex came through this week. Alex is the name we've picked out for our son WHEN we have him. I don't think I am pregnant right now. . . just PMS-y. But it could still happen. Do you believe in signs?
And I found out Francine Rivers, one of my favorite authors, has a new book out. I'm on the waiting list at the library. Yay!
To end, here are a couple of quotes from my first/second grade boys over the last few weeks that should make you smile:
- Mrs. Amy, are you a lady already?
- Me to the child: Is it big or small? Child to me: It's small to a person but big to an ant.
- Mrs. Amy, it's raining!
- Me to the child: Why aren't you in the pool? Him to me: My leg hurts. It keeps cracking. -- I still don't know what that means!
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