Holding Back

I sort of feel like I've been holding back on things lately. With Jeremy having his hopes set so high on this school he wants to work at next year even though we haven't heard back from them yet, it's hard to think about our future in terms of any certainty. I have no idea where I'll be living in two months. Will I be moving or signing another year on our lease on this teeny tiny apartment where I can't find anything and don't have my cats? Should I keep booking parties into June and July or should I sort of hold back a bit and see if I'll even be in the area? Should I worry so much about my job situation and the fact that I never seem to get a call back from the various interviews or should I be content with the temporary position God has given me for the last three months that doesn't seem to want to end any time soon? I sort of feel like even though I'm living day-to-day and we have a GREAT church family here where we can serve a lot, everything else in my life is up in the air. I'm so tired of feeling like everything is up in the air. Say a little prayer for us that we can find out SOMETHING soon.
And say another prayer for my Grandpa, too. He's been back in the hospital with breathing problems again this week. He's home now, but they're waiting on test results before the start back with the chemo. Have I said lately that I hate cancer? I do.