God's Reminders

I have to admit, I've been struggling a little lately.  (*side note* This post is going to get into some female stuff so if you don't want to read it, back off now)
I've never been regular.  In high school, they put me on birth control for a few weeks to get my periods to stop being so frequent and heavy (like, back to back with only a day between).  I sort of loved being on birth control the first few years of marriage because it meant I always knew when I would start and I never had to worry about anything except the cramping that was heavier on the pill.  It took me three months and a round of meds to get me started again after we got off the pill -- three years ago.  Since then, my body has fallen back into its "rhythm" which means doing whatever it wants to when it wants to.  I learned a lot about my body through this book:  Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health.  A friend gave me her copy and I read it cover to cover.  I still don't understand my body, though.  This summer I haven't really had a period.  Actually, just leave the "really" out.  I haven't had one, at all.  Not since before Memorial day.  I blame it a lot on the summer I've had -- being more active than normal, out in the heat, drinking more water, eating strange meals.
For those of you who have regular periods, you have no idea so let me try and explain what I'm struggling with.  Most women would love to not have a period for three months.  It's frustrating to me.  I'm never sure if my spotting is leading up to one or not.  Never sure if I'm going to need to wear a pad.  Never sure what my hormones are doing, although it does assure me I'm not ovulating.  But the most frustrating part is, it holds off just long enough to let you start believing.  Then, you can't shake the niggle in the back of your mind.  Everywhere you look, you see signs that maybe this time . . . maybe . . .  possibly . . . could you be?  I don't think I am, but there's still the niggle.
Meanwhile, several more of my friends are turning up pregnant.  I really am happy for them.  But I keep asking God, "Is it my turn yet?"
And the hardest part of the last summer is really about my other half.  It's like living with a zombie most of the time in my house.  Don't get me wrong -- God has blessed us tremendously with the jobs He's given us.  It's just not what my husband wants to be doing.  He wants to teach.  And him seeing me going back to my after-school-care job, seeing others going back to school, has really been hard on him.  I keep telling him not to give up.  Schools are still hiring even after school starts.  And he continues to flip through all the school websites he's bookmarked this last year, hoping for any kind of teaching opening and applying to the few he has found.

Are you depressed yet?  Here's the hope part.  I've been one of the girls in charge of our Wednesday night Ladies' class at church this year.  We've been studying the Bible all the way through from beginning to end, using The Daily Bible: In Chronological Order 365 Daily Readings - New International Version with Devotional Insights to Guide You Through God's Word.  We're also using the devotional that goes along with it.  I'm really enjoying re-reading the Bible as I haven't done it for several years.  And this one is broken up well, with nice commentary to explain some things that I haven't picked up on before.  Anyway, the reading this morning (which is actually for tomorrow morning because I read two days' worth on Saturdays knowing I don't have time on Sundays) sent me a reminder.  It was about Jeremiah.  He's been prophesying and the king has locked him in the courtyard because he doesn't like what Jeremiah has to say.  Jeremiah's cousin comes and asks him to buy some land.  Historical note:  Jerusalem is under siege by the Babylonians at this time and is about to fall to them.  Why would anyone by land when the land is about to be captured?  Jeremiah does it anyway.  God told him to.  It's a sign of hope.  The point of the devotional this morning was that life "ebbs and flows" in constant change . . . and that God delights in restoration.  The thought at the very end says this:  "The hopeful question is:  Have I took quickly given up all hope over some 'impossible' situation that God may yet turn completely around?"
Do I really need to say more?