Last week was sort of an up-and-down week. I mean temperatures, emotions, everything. I feel like I have very little control over my emotions right now and poor Jeremy is getting the brunt of it. He had to live with crazy emotions all those years I was on birth control and I think we've both been enjoying the last year and a half when I could actually decide how I was going to feel and feel that way instead of being led one way or another by hormones. I guess it's not a good thing I wasn't having any hormonal stuff over the last year and a half, but I did enjoy having my emotions back in check. I go through days now when I feel like crying but can't, then get really angry and just yell at Jeremy no matter what he says, which makes me feel guilty so I'm back to feeling like crying to laughing my head off at absolutely nothing. I think we're both ready for me to be back in more control.
It doesn't help my life that I try to cram so much into it. Last week, Grandma and Grandpa left Monday, I tried to get some writing done on my nanowrimo (and am just under 21,000 instead of where I need to be), went to the play Friday night, had two Pampered Chef shows Saturday, and then had tried to plan a Ladies' Craft Day for Sunday afternoon which fell through. I feel like I haven't stopped. In the midst of all that, I did this craft (http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/special/feature/famf1103_mgi_salad/) for my K-2 kids everyday which was really cute, but not so easy as they all had to wait their turn.
I know I bring much of this on myself, but what do I do when people look at me and ask if I'm going to have a baby or WHEN I'm going to have a baby. After all, everyone else is. I think I'm doing good, getting my priorities straightened out, knowing that I'm blessed even if God doesn't give me this opportunity. And then, I'm back down on my knees begging Him to let it have happened this time. Satan definitely knows my weaknesses.
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