Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Waiting

The hardest part is the end of the cycle. That's when all you can really do is wait. I'm not good at waiting.
Jeremy and I are very different when it comes to this. He maintains his optimism all the way through or at least assures me that if it doesn't happen this time, that just means we get to keep trying. I am at the other end of the spectrum. The first part of the cycle, I keep my hopes up, thinking things like, "this is it -- it's going to happen -- today." The end of the cycle, I tell myself it didn't happen. Somehow, I've convinced myself that if I assume it didn't happen, then it won't be as hard when it comes true. I'm not sure that this is really true -- almost positive it isn't. But that's what I do anyway.
So, here I sit, waiting. I keep telling myself that cycle number four will start any day now and I've even got my "upped" prescription ready and waiting for me from when I had a panic moment over Christmas and thought the cycle was starting early. Sigh. Waiting stinks.

1 comment:

  1. Waiting does stink! Even though I know it's difficult, hang in there and think positive!

    I know you just don't want your heart to hurt more than it already has--but have confidence that the Lord is faithful! Maybe not in our timing and maybe differently than we imagined...but His works are greater than anything we can imagine.

    I can't wait to hear your rejoicing when you finally do get what your heart has desired for so long! Hopefully it's this cycle! I'm praying for that to be the case.

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