Tears for him

I let myself cry a bit last night.  It needed to happen much as I didn't want to admit it.  The strange thing is that I think I was crying more for my husband than for myself.  Much as I want to be pregnant -- and I REALLY want to be pregnant and a mommy -- it breaks my heart more to see how much my husband wants to be a daddy.  I know it's not really either one of our fault more than another.  It's just the way it is right now.  I just feel so helpless when it comes to making things better for him.  So the look he gave me when I informed him my cousin is having not one but two babies (the one who is married on my mom's side of the family, not the other one on that side or the one on dad's side -- sheesh.  I have a lot of pregnant cousins!), it broke my heart.  And as I started praying last night before sleeping, I couldn't help but pour out that sadness to God and allow a few tears to fall for my sweetheart.