So, I've been meaning to post about several things for a while now, but I guess I just needed a certain trigger to get me to actually type something on here. I'm a facebook addict, although I have been weaning myself off a little bit lately, to try and actually get real things done during the day instead of just mindlessly sifting through friend after friend after friend's status posts. But I do still get one two or three times a day (trust me, that's less than it was for a while). Last night, I got on and saw my cousin's lastest post "[cousin's name] has a bun in the oven!" Let me tell you, I have a lot of cousins. I have ten on my mom's side and seven on my dad's. Add my husband's to the mix, and we've got a great-sized family. And most of us are getting up to reproducing age, if we haven't been there for a while. Just like most of my friends. I've sort of been expecting/dreading this. On mom's side, I knew there was no way we would be the first to make great-grandkids for my grandparents. That was done YEARS ago -- like, before we got married. But on my dad's side, which this cousin is, no one had yet accomplished this feat, even though we've been married six years, this cousin about four, my sis and another cousin a little over one. I was just hoping, being the oldest grandchild, that I might be the first to have a great-grandchild for my Grandma. I know she'll love all her greats, no matter how many she gets, and what order they come in. But I was still hoping. And now, I'm hoping even more that we CAN be the first on Jeremy's dad's side. I know that would mean a lot to him.
I actually had a dream about this cousin having a baby first. I just didn't really think it would come true, considering MOST of my dreams don't. Hm. Scary. Let's hope the rest of that dream doesn't come true as well.
Meanwhile, I'm fighting my jealousy, trying to find the deep part of me that really is happy for her. It's in there . . .
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